1. Rule of Mortality
“If you are afraid of Death, Better stay at Home.”

Eg: City outskirts …. gachibowli,medchal etc.. 

2. Rule to Give Way
“Give way to animals, beggars, double parked heavy trucks, buses and cars. Don’t hit them, just flow around them. Amongst the motorists, he who is the loudest has the right-to-way. On road, traffic entering a road from the left has priority. So has traffic from the right, and also traffic in the middle.”

Eg: Everywhere in Hyd…. 8-11 am and 6:10pm

3. Indian Driver Mantra
“”To slow is to falter, to brake is to fail, to stop is defeat”. In observance of this rule three things are required of every licensed driver:”Good Horn”, “Good Brakes” and “Good Luck”. Most drivers don’t drive; they just aim their vehicle in the intended direction.”

4. Rule of Horn
“He who is the loudest wins. Use of a horn is mandatory, if you wish to pass anything, honk horn. If you don’t have a horn, shout.”

Eg: Ameerpet ,Panjagutta …….Horn,Horn,Horn… something to get ur frustration out

5. Rule for Accidents
“Never stop for an accident, “That’s karma,” or in the case of a big collision, “That’s truckma”. Truck drivers of India are licensed to kill.”

6. Rules of Speed
“Speed limit is palpably ignored. Signs are ineffectual and traffic will move at the fastest speed possible.”

7. Rules of Roundabouts
“India recognizes no roundabouts.”

8. Rules for Overtaking
“Every moving vehicle is required to overtake every other moving vehicle, irrespective of whether it has just overtaken you or whether you are in a rush or not. Indian drivers overtake amazingly, especially where there absolutely no sensible opportunity exists.”

This one is Excellent! You should read it in original Hyderabadi ishtyle… tabbichmajaa aatein! )) In Hyderabad we have our own little Johnny. His name is Chotu. His father is ambitious to educate Chotu.Chotu goes to school in Tappachaputra. Its principal was educated in Urdu high school and claims that he passed tenth class! There is a school inspection the next day and the conversation is as follows:

Teacher: Kal inispector ayinga. Kochchanaa (questions) puchinga. Sabachchaa

padkey aau. Koi galath answer deengaa naa tho main uske pairaan thodtoom.

Chotu: Iski maakki . Kyun aara inispector? Kaam nai hai usku? Kya kochchanaa

puchta kathey?

Teacher: Abey tereku kaiku re, tu kal school aanaaich nai. Tu tera moo

khola to gaaliaan nikaltey. Tereku main absent nai daalthaum. Ghar pe

baithkey gotiyaan khel. Tu school aayingaa to inispector ke saamney mere

izzat ki biryaani karke khaaingaa tu.

So our Chotu is excited, goes home and tells his father that he is not going

to school the next day.

Father: Yeah kyaa hai..ischool hai paan ka dabba hai?

G**** pe maartaun saale tu ischool nai gaya to.

Chotu: Arey Bava, mera teacher bola nakko aao bolke.

Father: Usku akhal hai! Begum suno! Chotu ischool nai jayinga kathey kal.

Agar iney ischool nai gaya to kaise padhinga? Chotu, agar tu kal ischool

nahin gaya naa, tere haathan pairaan thod daaltaum.

So Chotu cries and finally agrees to go to school.

Next day in school, Teacher is very upset to see Chotu back:

Teacher: Arey teri maakki. Nakko aao bole to bhi kyun aaya re?

Chotu: Mera bava g**** phodtum bola ischool nai gaya to.

Teacher: offo?! Tera bava bola?   Theek hai chal. Last bench pe baith aur

inispector aya to chchup jaa. Dikhnaich nai. Kuch bhi gadbad karinga naa

meri noukri g***** lag jayingi.

So Chotu goes to sit in the last bench hiding behind a tall guy.

Inspector comes for the visit.

Inspector: Adaab.

Teacher: Adaab saab. Bachen acha padrain saab. Kochchanaa puchey to

answeraan yun bolte.

Inspector: Abaa? Offo! Ithney kilever hai aapke bachchey? Achchaa, ek bahuth easy sawaal – Hamarey body mein sab se nazook cheez kaun si hai?

Teacher: Arey Imtiyaz tu bata rey!

Imtiyaz: Saab, Khaleja saab.

Inspector: Aisa! ….. woh kyun?

Imtiyaz: Saab, khaleja hai to sab kuch hota. Agar who gaya naa, kuch bhi

nahin hota saab.

Inspector: Abaa, kya tez potta hai rey! Aur koi?

Teacher: Arey Akram, tu bata re.

Akram: Saab bheja saab. Bhejey ku khuch bhi hua to kuch yaad nahin rehta

saab. Haathaan pairaan kaam nai karthey, iscooter ku kick bhi nai maar

sakthey saab.

Inspector: Abey Teacher, kya kya padaaraa re inku tu.

Chutiye ke jaiseich answeraan bolrai naa!!

In the meantime Chotu is trying very hard to hide but Inspector sees him. He

thinks Chotu is hiding because he does not know the answer.

Inspector: Woh last bench pe yun jhuk ke baithaa naa woh pottey ka naam kya

hai?

Teacher: kaun saab? …….Woh! (iski bhain ku, kaiku dikhaa re tu) Woh

Chotu hai saab.

Inspector: Chotu? Ye kya naam hai? Kahan-kahan se lagaathey re bhai naamaan!

Chotu, woh lambu ke peechchey kaiku chchup raa tu?

Chotu: Saab main moo khola to teacher maaringe saab.

Inspector: Tereku yaa mereku??

Teacher: Arey kya baath kar reh saab, main kaiku maarthaum aapku. Ye potta

ekdam badmaash hai saab, jhoot bolraa. Abey Chotu, answer maloom hain to bol nai tho khaamoosh baith jaa mere baap tere pau padthaum.

Chotu: Saab sabse nazook cheez apne body mein g**** hai saab.

Teacher: Allah!! Iney moo khola meri g**** lag gayi re!!!

Inspector: Abey kyaa to bhi bolra re! Sharam kar badon ke saamney aisaich

baathaan karthey! Yeich sikhaaye tumhaarey amma-bavaa? g**** kahaan kaa

Answer hai re?

Chotu: Hau saab, g**** ich sabse naazook cheez hai. Kaiku boletho wahaan pe dilli mein baamb phata….Yahan Hydrabad mein apni g**** phat thi..Yahaan old city mein gadbadaan shuru hothey….wahaan new city mein sabki g**** phat thi.

Uttaa kaiku saab, main yeh answer bolraun naa, mere teacher ki g**** phatri dekho!

if there’s something about me that fascinates anyone that would be obviously known to that person and if there’s  ‘nothing about me’ then that makes no sense… if i really have to write something to fill this space out here, i can say it depends on the perspective of the reader that what kind of impression that creates on him/her (and its not that i have nothing to do with that impression, if i write something out here, i would really try my best to take responsibility of my writing and its impression on you). One can say (after reading all this ‘so-called crap’) “just cut the crap and do not write anything in this column”, and i say if u really are reading all this ‘so-called crap’ you’re really the most jobless guy, and i’m sure u have some better work to do out there, (now u might get into conclusion about my arrogance), and coming to the main point ….

i always thought of this question,

What do u think most appropriate statement down below:

1. As Someone says “You are what you really ARE”

2. And Some say “You are what you DO and what you EXPRESS”

In my opinion its all about the 2nd statement, I used to believe in 1st statement, but now i’m slowly learning the importance of the 2nd one in life. What finally matters is what one speaks,does,writes… or in one phrase “How he/she expresses himself/herself to the world”

One can argue with me that there’s no difference in the 2 statements i wrote until and unless what you express is what you really are, but i can bet most of the times its not the same. How many people u think, in this materialistic environment, show the real ” himself/herself” to the world ??. I generally find people, when asked to tell about them, to portray the person which he/she wants to be rather than what they really are, i don’t say its a mistake, its normal behavior.

I don’t say every person would follow anyone of those 2, but i also have seen people who show the real themselves to the world. One can suppress the real himself and show something lot different than himself, but in a long run, either he forgets who he really was or he’ll get frustrated and depressed of the kind of life he’s leading. You can say that its just not as complex as i explain out here (as they do in humanities courses and sometimes in mathematics , they’ll do into all kinda complex things just to prove “A is A” ).

I would love to hear your opinions on this thing…

PS: Ignore if you think its crap

yeah… it is for those three words i was waiting this long

for which i dont feel very much wrong

if you sing it like a folksong

or write it on a paper which is oblong

i don’t mind if u wear a sarong

in a village called campong

coz i’m not such headstrong.

Among

the people who are strong

i’m the one for you and it’s with you whom i belong

lets live life along

the beaches of honkong

drinking the chinese soochong,

swimming in billabong.

One day, when everything was going fine, u had to prolong

the small fight, suddenly it was a furlong

distance between us, which over time became very very long.

even if u leave me alone to singsong,

I will become superstrong,

to wait for you… daylong,

nightlong,

weeklong,

yearlong,

lifelong !!!

As i entered into ICE INTERNATIONAL 80(intercity Express maX speed:300km/hr) silence was my only friend as i was the only person sitting in the whole bogie,could’nt feel that it was going @300km/hr until i saw my train speeding up like a rocket compared to a ferrari 360spider running on road parallelly to track.Within an hr i was @ koln and as i went out of station, waiting was a beautiful young german lady carrying a board on which my name was there.“you…..rrrrrRoit Oooshi??” she asked me, unsurprised by the accent ,i said “Ja”(yes in german,thanks to the german-english book i bought). we went to the TAXI(which was Mercedes Benz ) and as she speedup the car from 0-120km/hr in abt 15 secs it was a maX feel.

Going @120km/hr the lady took me to 12,Rurfeld,Juelich by 10:30 am….My apartment…as i thought was not… it was a normal house and i was like a paying guest in the 2nd flor there .Getting a good recieving treat from my old owners, a Chocolate Cake, Tired by the journey i just wanna sleep and went to bed slept until 3pm… The next day ,my first day @institute ,i had to meet my professor…….. rest of it in coming posts..